You’ve spend months and months designing and building your app, and you’re finally left with the next best thing to Angry Birds. Now you’re ready to make your millions, but before you start to designingmerchandisetocompetewith O2’s Angry Birds phone cases, you’ve got to get your app approved. Here is how:
1. Crush the Bugs
Before you can tame the birds, you have to starve them off bugs otherwise the Apple App Store and Google Play aren’t going to give you a look in. So, be thorough in your testing and make sure that your app is free of technical glitches.
2. Use an external examiner
It helps to have friends or peers lend a hand by giving your app a test run, or several. We also recommend the Fix-it feature on Xcode to help with the smaller, harder to find critters that can hold-up your approval process.
3. Be on form
They are everywhere. Everywhere you turn. There is nothing you can do with them apart fill them in with all the detail needed to keep the jobsworths happy. If you don’t know where said jobsworth lives in order to buy him/her flowers and a box of chocolates, then stop him/her from playing wastepaper basketball with your application form by making sure that every last question is answered in full… and in triplicate if they ask it of you.
4. Easy does it
Make sure you clear the first hurdle by not overdoing your first run. Once you have completed one lap it will be much easier to get follow-up updates cleared. So, cut the jazzy little add-ons and you will have less to go wrong.
5. Don’t test the approvers
Don’t cut too much! They are not interested in a test version, they want to see the real McCoy.
6. Don’t be rotten to Apple
If you want your app on Apple then be nice. Be very nice. No violent or otherwise naughty names. And make sure you abide by the other app developer rules too. Think yourself lucky – two years ago they would not even disclose their guidelines.
7. Easy Tiger
The wind blows in funny ways. Translation: Although, Apple do have published guidelines the venerable Apple Review Board may still not like the look of your app. Before you bang your head against the wall, take two deep breaths and very politely send them a thousand emails asking “What the hell is the matter now?”
8. Use big words
Being articulate in your submission helps. You want them to think you know what you are doing. Apple, in particular, has its own kind of philosophy. Make yourself seem like you are part of their ethos. They are bound to like you and are hence more likely to think highly of your application.
9. Keep it real
Don’t do something boring. There are, at the last count, approximately a gazillion apps so make sure yours has something that makes it really special. Don’t rip off Angry Birds by using sullen birds as your protagonist. Grumpy gophers might work though…